Maybe it’s just the way I am…

I have been doing it since I was a kid.  It is kind of a habit you know.  I can’t remember the first time I did it but I also cannot remember a season when I didn’t.  Maybe it is just the way I am… maybe.

This habit has never added anything to my life.  It doesn’t relieve stress, quite the opposite.  It doesn’t stop the wave of emotional duress that causes severe bouts with this habit.  It never makes me think better, again, quite the opposite.  I cannot think of one real friend it has helped me make, but I can name a few it has impacted poorly.  Maybe it is just the way I am… maybe.

Every day I am spoon fed an enticement for this habit.  My ears are tickled, my eyes are enticed and before you know it, I’m doing something that some might even call an addiction.  Not that I need the help, I fall prey to this habit even without the help.  Maybe it is just the way I am… maybe.

This habit alters my relationships.  It causes them to experience stress and adds expectations that are probably not healthy or even able to be met.  It fills me with pride and I use it to mask  and hide things that need not be masked or hidden. Maybe it is just the way I am… maybe.

Some people have pointed out this habit, but that is usually met with an “I know…” or an “I am getting better…” or “yes, but…” and then I am off to go live out my habit.

I read several articles that said some of our larger and more deeply ingrained habits are not usually broken but replaced.  The article said that it is as if our mind and heart need retraining in order to be changed.  All the articles said that in order for a deeply ingrained habit to be broken there were some “musts” that needed to be present.

I must see the habit as wrong or harmful in all its forms and expressions

I must get help beyond myself.  I cannot break it alone.

I must understand the moral implications of this habit.

I must not aim for improvement but rather for total transformation.

So here is my habit.  Complaining.  Yup, that is.  Now if you read that and pass it by casually, can I take you to a standard the bible gives.  DO EVERYTHING WITHOUT GRUMBLING OR COMPLAINING…  Call me a nut bar, but what if God meant it?  What if He really wanted me to live my life without complaining or grumbling?

News, politics, bosses, spouses, kids, finances, bills, blogs that pick on me… the traffic, the grocery store, the pressure to be beautiful, fit and retire a millionaire…all feed this habit.  But God wants me to not grumble and complain.  Wanna know why?

G&C destroy trust, faith, relationship, good communication, hope, health and life.  G&C give fertile soil to bitterness, envy, pride, anger, selfishness, gossip, lies and hate.  G&C hijacks the needed salve of contentment by causing us to never be satisfied.  God knows how destructive G&C are so He says… don’t do that.

So how do I break this habit?  See is as wrong and destructive, seek some accountability, know it is not harmless or morally neutral and seek to end its reign in your life.  Oh yea, replace it with gratitude and generosity, and then you can say… Maybe it is just the way I am… with a whole new twist. That’s all for today.  Off… we go now.

~ by OFF we go now on July 26, 2010.

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